Is the grass greener on the other side?

When I was in seventh grade, I had an opportunity to join a basketball team. I participated in the first practice. It was hard. After a very long practice, the coach walked us outside and said we could head home as soon as we ran to the stop sign and back. It was a mile run round trip. I did it but as soon as I got home, I told my parents I wanted to quit the team. The practices were too hard and I hated running.

After some thought, my parents gave me a timeline. They said that if I went to practice and worked hard until a certain date, they would let me quit at that point if I still felt like I didn’t want to be part of the team.

I wasn’t happy at the time with the choices but I did it. When the deadline came, quitting wasn’t even an option for me. I was fully committed to the team by that point. Best part – some of my favorite sports’ memories came from my experiences on that basketball team. And, as the season took shape, I realized that because of all the running we had to do during practice, our team was able to outlast many teams because of our endurance.

There was purpose in the pain.

When my parents decided that they wouldn’t let me quit because I felt like the demands were too hard, they actually taught me a valuable lesson on the importance of perseverance and not giving up when it gets too tough.

Fast-forward years later and I am still using those lessons. I began a new job and found a few months in that it was harder than I thought it would be. As I was venting my frustrations to a friend one day, she told me, “Calm seas don’t make great sailors, storms do.” This was a timely reminder. It would be much easier to quit and go back to my old job. I was comfortable in that job. But, I want to be a “great sailor” so it will require perseverance on my part. I’m wanting my kids to see that we just can’t quit when things get tough.

It’s so easy to quit though. We quit jobs, teams, churches, relationships, and commitments many times because we believe that the grass is greener on the other side. Rather than looking for greener pastures, why don’t we teach our kids to water their grass?

When we teach our kids to persevere, they can learn the following:

1. Your word means something.When you say you are going to do something, do it. When you don’t, people lose their trust in you.
2. Hard work is required. My kid isn’t entitled for the starting spot on the sports team. I’m not entitled to a job promotion. I’m not entitled to a perfect marriage. These things require hard work. Plus, when you get promoted based on your hard work, it means more.
3. You have to change your mindset and make an attitude adjustment. You can’t persevere with a bad attitude. Go into the situation asking yourself how you can add value. You are needed.
4. Hurting people hurt people. Sometimes the reason we want to quit is because of people. People can be mean and unwilling to seek to understand. The idea of quitting to get away from them can be enticing but I can assure you, the next job you take will probably have hurting people there, too. “It is usually people who are unhappy with themselves that are mean to others.” -Toby Mac
5. Remember your ‘why’. Why did you join the team? Why did you take the job? Why did you start the life group? If you haven’t accomplished your why, it’s not time to quit.
6. It’s okay to ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. We don’t have to figure out everything on our own or try to carry the load by ourselves. This can come in many forms. For example, help may look like mentorship, advice, therapy, accountability, partnership.

So, while you’ve probably heard the saying, “The grass is always greener on the other side.” I beg to differ. The grass is always greener where you water it.

Plant yourself, water the soil, and the grass will be greener.