I Want My Kids to See This in Me in 2021.

Do you ever look back on your childhood and think about how your parents handled different situations?  I sometimes think about the different things my parents had to go through, and I’m amazed at how they not only overcame challenges but also did so with courage. Now that I’m a parent, I realize that my parents were teaching me lessons all along, whether they meant to or not.

Courage – having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty; the ability to do something that frightens one

My challenge for myself entering this new year is to walk bravely and show my kids the importance of walking bravely. Here are some tips I have learned by watching my parents.

*Ask for help when I need it. When I was in 5^th grade, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She and my dad would have to drive to Tulsa every month and stay for a week while she completed chemo treatments. On top of the chemo, she had to have several intense surgeries. They had to ask others for help. Family and friends helped by taking care of my brother and me, cooking meals, and helping with chores. As a parent, I know it can be challenging to ask others for help. However, watching my parents accept the assistance from others showed me the importance of letting others help. I’m forever grateful for the family and friends that pitched in during that time. They helped make a scary, unsure time for my brother and me seem as normal as possible.

*I don’t have to have the last word. Sometimes I can be right without having to prove my point or making it known. I’m pretty sure that all the social media debates never win someone over to the “right” side. Rather than having the last word, I think I should just keep on scrolling.

*Be quick to forgive. “Hurting people hurt people.” This is such a wise and true statement and one to remember when you have been hurt. Growing up with parents in ministry and a dad who was mayor of my hometown for ten years, people can sometimes say hurtful things. I admire my parents and their ability to forgive quickly. And, not only did they forgive others, but they were careful not to allow their hurt to rub off on my brother and me. I am so thankful for that. I could have hardened my heart easily but because of their discernment of what to share, they wisely protected me. I think it’s also important to note that forgiveness can come with boundaries. Just because you have forgiven someone doesn’t mean the relationship needs to go back to what it was before.

*Challenge myself. I’m not sure that I have ever regretted trying something new; however, I have regretted not trying. I admire the fact that my dad decided to run for mayor even though it didn’t necessarily make sense because he was a pastor. I admire my mom for going back to school to further her degree. It’s okay to be unsure, but just do the hard things anyways.

*Be content but not complacent. Be joyful and grateful with what you have and where you are, but don’t be lazy. Work for what you want and where you want to go.

*Strive to demonstrate strong character and integrity. One part of having courage is demonstrating moral strength. Our world is deceptively trying to teach our kids what is right and how they should think. It’s safe to say that the world’s moral standard is well below mine. I remember my parents not allowing me to watch certain movies, attend specific events, and setting boundaries that I thought were ‘ruining my life’. Haha! I look back now and realize they were taking steps to shape my character rather than allowing others to do so.

I want my kids to look back on their childhood and find lessons along the way. And, I want them to find courage in these lessons. While I know that I will mess up, I am challenging myself to be brave. I want to take courage in 2021. Our world needs more courageous people.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified…for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Deuteronomy 31:6