Parents, We Are Being Watched

In August, we were so excited because we found out that soccer season was going to happen! In the days of Covid and not getting to have a spring season, we were pumped! The fall season kicked off with a scrimmage.

During one of my son’s games, everything was going great until a player from the other team got frustrated and punched a player on my son’s team. Everyone was shocked! As the referee ran over and just as I was thinking to myself “what is this kid’s deal?”, the player’s dad ran out onto the field cursing and looking for a fight with the referee. Thankfully, both coaches were able to rush the field and bring order. My son’s coach was even able to use this as a teachable moment with the boys. After this incident, it dawned on me. The player learned his behavior by watching his dad.

Whether we like it or not, our kids are watching us.

Our kids watch how we respond to bad news, good news, disappointments, and disagreements. They see how we respond when we make mistakes, when our boss calls us out on something, when friends hurt our feelings, or when coworkers frustrate us. They see much more than we think.

During the months of quarantine, I started noticing that my oldest was being a bit grumpy. His patience for his siblings was non-existent and sulking became a recurrence….very similar to mine. Ugh! Let’s be honest – balancing full time work and elearning my kids for months while being cooped up in our house did NOT bring out my best qualities. I had to sit down with him and admit my faults. Then, I had to explain to him what I was seeing in his attitude and the effects of his grumpiness. I think the talk helped both of us and our attitudes!

I’m far from perfect, and I know it. But, I have a responsibility as a parent to teach my kids how to respond in different scenarios, especially when it’s hard.

Our kids need to see their parents….

Showing Kindness. Our world has so much meanness in it. We must be willing to help others and show kindness. We don’t know what battle others are facing and so our kids need to understand the importance of kind words and smiles.

Speaking Life. In a world where it is so easy to say whatever we want on social media without a filter and no fear of a consequence, we MUST be the ones that speak life and encouragement to others. “Good words are worth much and cost little.” George Herbert

Taking Ownership of Mistakes. Believe it or not, we aren’t perfect. Be quick to own up to your mistakes. FYI – This is not fun but needed.

Saying “I’m Sorry”. It’s amazing what power the words “I’m sorry” have in a relationship. It doesn’t make you weak, but wise.

Being Humble. Be the person in the room that says, “There you are!” rather than “Here I am!” God always honors humility.

Working Through Disappointments. We live in a time when many get offended about everything. It is easy to take offense and it’s even easier to not deal with it. Do the hard things. Be willing to work through your offenses with others. This is more important than ever for our kids to learn. Blog for tips on this – An Essential Skill Kids Need to be Taught

Setting Boundaries with Screen Time. I am so good to give time limits to my kids on screen time but can endlessly scroll facebook myself. My kids need to see me being present around them rather than glued to my phone.

Showing Gratitude. If 2020 has taught us anything, I hope it’s taught us to be grateful for the things we have. We show gratitude by being content with what we have, saying thank you, looking for the good, and serving others.

Setting Goals. Our kids need to see us striving for goals and bettering ourselves. We are never too old to make goals and take steps to achieve them. I decided in my late thirties to go back to school. I’m showing my kids that age doesn’t matter and goals are important.

Continuing to Dream. Be a visionary. What do you dream about? What do you want to accomplish? How big can you dream? Tell your kids about it and ask them to share their dreams.

Loving Others. I do believe that the term “loving others” has been confused with “approving everything”. That’s not true. You can love others without approving their actions that are contrary to kindness and wisdom. Teach the difference.

We are raising the next generation of leaders. The world needs leaders that are tired of the easy and ready to be brave, respectful, and kind in their responses and attitudes. It starts with us, the parents.

“Look at those who are honest and good, for a wonderful future awaits those who love peace.”

Psalm 37:37