Are the Two’s Actually Terrible?

I’ve always heard the 2-year old stage referred to as the “Terrible Two’s”. And, in all honesty, there are many days when I would like to agree with that phrase.

As a parent to a two-year old, you are exhausted from chasing after them and picking up their messes due to their curiosity. You are worn out from constantly disciplining and reinforcing rules. You get tired of hearing the word “no” because it seems that all 2-year olds know that word and use it often. You wonder if this phase will ever end because it is truly draining. Or, maybe that’s just how I feel….

We had three boys in a span of 2.5 years so it seemed like the 2-year old phase was a bit of a blur. We waited four years and had Kenzie…and then I remembered what this phase was like. Exhausting. There are days when I’m so tired I probably fall asleep before the kids do!

However, because I have 3 kids that are past this phase, I can honestly say that I know it doesn’t last forever. The 2-year old stage isn’t terrible. This stage is the training stage. You are teaching a child what is right and wrong, training them to make good choices. Of course this stage will be tiring, but with persistence, you will reap great benefits!

Instead of referring to this stage as the Terrible Two’s, the phrase Training Two’s is much more fitting –  definitely sounds more hopeful!

Here are some tips that I have to constantly remind myself during this phase:

1)      Be consistent. Remember, your child is learning what is acceptable and what isn’t so you have to remain consistent, even when it’s easier to just let the bad behavior go because you are tired. (tips for this).

2)      Choose consequences that make an impact. Most two-year old kids don’t benefit from time-outs because they don’t completely grasp the concept yet. Choose a consequence that connects with them at this stage. (tips for this)

3)      Give opportunities to make choices. Sometimes by redirecting the child’s focus to something else and giving them a choice, they can learn to still honor your decision but have the freedom to do what they want within your perimeters. For instance, your child really wants to play with art paint. You don’t have time to set it all up so you say no. The 2-year old starts crying. Then you say, “We aren’t going to play with paint right now, but you can do art with markers or you can play outside. Which do you choose?”  Maybe they continue to throw a fit and you have to give a consequence but then offer the choice again. It’s taking the focus off of what they can’t do and putting it on what they can do.

4)      A change of scenery works wonders. Sometimes, days can feel really long. It can help to just get out of the house for a little bit. Maybe you go on a walk, play at a park, or just drive around – a change of scenery can be beneficial for everyone involved.

5)      Make sure both parents are on the same page. Parents and primary care givers need to be on the same page as to what is acceptable and what isn’t. This will help remove any confusion from the child.

6)      Give lots of hugs! Training is hard. A two-year old is doing a lot of learning during this stage and positive reinforcements are important. They need to be reassured that even though they may have had a hard day with lots of consequences, they are loved and valued.

7)      Treat yourself. Maybe I try too hard to find ways to treat myself but, I am working hard training a child to learn the difference between right and wrong, good choices and bad choices. I think it’s okay if I treat myself to some Blue Bell every now and then 🙂

Proverbs 22:6

“Direct your children onto the right path, and they are older, they will not leave it.”